So, I haven't been writing for a while, been a lot going on. So much so that I have too much in my head. I really don't even know where to start. So, more than likely this will be a long ass entry or ill split up into a couple of different entries.
Lets begin with the fact that I spent a lot of money to give someone their freedom. My memory isn't that great but the fact when I seen him for the first time since my memories was stolen from me, he gave me boxes I could not get from an attic in my garage that the ex put so far back that I could not get access to. He gave me my childhood. The pictures of a happy little girl. It moved me and feel like I owe him one. Granted what I remember now of the child hood I had not being a very happy one, it was comforting to see pictures of a child that looked happy at one time. Meant a lot to me. There was something about him as though we may had been friends in the past cause I didn't get that feeling of alert when we met again.
Any way the man got arrested, through the years a fast and rough, I need not to go to detail. He also is in love with a woman that is so unhealthy, this bitch has even laid his head open and so hard I believe it knocked since out of him. She is addict of an affliction of the worst kind. He calls them demons on her. He believes that he can free her of these demons. If we're going to call them demons, these are the kind that go away with different choices in life. This woman has 4 kids, homeless, and feels like it is necessary to have relations with a person in order to shelter herself and her children. I could of set her up in a shelter that would have helped her get on her feet. I have interned there, I have witness the success stories. So,” those whom read this”, the demons are something she can control. Her demons. They are just a bad habit and bad choices. For what ever reason he has himself convinced that she really is a good person, that she just needs someone who don't give up on her. When is enough, enough though? I have seen the after math of her slitting his head open, and I am sure that there was permanent damage done to his brain. He still to this day will give up everything for the chance to be with her, help her, and believe that she loves him, and just keeps on dragging him down to the level she is.
I gave a thousand dollars to a bail bondsman to pay a no ten percent to a $10,00.00 bond. Not because we are close friends, family, or the fact that it is the “memory mans” best friend. I did it because an enter voice told me he needed the help and I just had to happen have it. Not to really just give to someone, though I never expected it, you always hope that someday it will get pd. Back in some form. When I got him free, we talked. When no one would listen to him, “he usually babbles shit no one hears or pays attention to his crazy” he said something that really caught my attention. I don't really like talking about religion, no do I like preached at. I'm not big on the bible, or a set placement of where I stand on religion. I made my own beliefs of my higher power. I have my own relationship with my God. I stopped to listen and he wasn't babbling. He tells a story that gives you a vision in your mind vivid enough to be waiting It on the television. He spoke of God and the life of Jesus Christ. I was captivated and he lit up like a green in spring. I seen a side of him
I'm not sure he's been able to let others see. I see him doing something big with a crowd of people speaking his word.
Because of some bad choices, his past was catching up with him and he had to go to jail. He was there for a while and was kind of sad, it was Thanksgiving. So many people promised to help him. Gave faith in people that should of help and in control his money from the state. They never did and he lost that money. I felt a way that if given one more chance, to know someone will be and know they won't give up on him. I was compelled to give him a chance to run to greatness and do something that gave him purpose and passion enough to achieve the greatness I seen him to be someday. I guess maybe I am crazy too. Something told me to do it. I promised him that I would put in the pot being collected for his release. He of course was so impatient, I had to wait to get my tax check in order to help.
When it came I made sure everything was pd for and my bills pd for a few payments. Then when it came to contribute no one was there but ones that loved us both. Its one of those times you realize you your friends really are. At that time no one had the money at the same time I got my check and had enough to do it and have them pay back their part. So, that is what I did and brought him home to ours. If you think about it, I really thought it was better than being in jail, or a half way house. So to have rules that are very simple would be no problem verses the options. All I ask is that no one come to the house. I have lived hear and only a handful of people have ever been here, that is including my family.
For a while he was very understanding, he wanted to see so many people. I tried and would of taken him where he wanted within reason and time. At the same time, you had this.... we will call her succubus. She was in jail at the time, so it wasn't a problem. Now, when she got out he started to get antsy. He finally wanted to make arrangement to see her at the same time I was in court and they was in the mercy of my time. They got so impatient it didn't work out. Things went south when he started to get desperate to see her. She was staying somewhere compromising herself in order to have shelter. He was OK with it as long as he still was understanding that she was just doing what she had to do with the plan on having him in the end.
So this man made a decision to do something that alters his mind and send him to that dark place he fights his moral. His mind wasn't strong enough to fight the demon that chased him. One rule I had ended up making him feel like I was taking his rights of seeing people from him. So he took upon himself to break it. When he got home from his overnight, he wanted to see and talk to the memory man and he had just got off work and in the bedroom. It doesn't matter what he was doing, the door was shut and apparently didn't want bothered. He was antsy and wanted to talk to him. And mind you this is also an excuse to blame his choices on the fact he didn't get to talk to him and he was left to make a decision about something he already knew was not right. So, he did it anyway.
He waited till we went to bed after falling asleep and all hours of the night was in and out of my house with this succubus and her boyfriend, “who mind you I don't even know.” here in my house and took her in the bathroom laid with her on the couch and then in my van. All the time while the man she was living with sat in my home and on my porch. My granddaughters mom was staying the weekend as well and she came in to wake me and tell me what was going on. We got up and found them naked in the back of my van. We get ready and take them to the hotel where he works. “I got him that job” and dropped them off. Needless to say, she had the boyfriend pick her up and she never came back. This was after he called and said that he didn't care who helped him, or what anyone says, that he was going to marry her and nothing else mattered. Well come to find out from what I was told, he called her treating to commit suicide and start doing some drugs and that I guess brought her here. Excuses, he just couldn't stand it and wanted to see her at whatever cost.
Well it cost him shelter and what came with it. It was a simple thing to follow and not asking much of him. Memory man says it's not our problem, that he is the one that did this. That if we let him come back it will happen again and probably worse than this. I dot want this to happen again, I like going to bed at night knowing there wont be a knock on my door late at night or early morning unless of an emergency. This is my bubble that I have created and invited someone in that bubble. It was violated and he allowed someone in and popped my bubble.
I have his belongings as well as his wallet all together in my van, it will be hard to give him his stuff, knowing he don't have a place to go at the moment. My heart still wants to help, the memory man is right, we can't allow that to happen again and if we overlook what he did then it opens the door to do it again and even worse. He says no good deed goes unpunished. That is hard to swallow, I'm all about the good deed. But he's right, and to who or what cost. Sad really, cause one-day, he's going to realize his purpose and I am scared to think it will come to the ears of the committed when his word should reach a place where there is no walls to contain it.
Today my friend, I will give to you what has been given to you as your own and wish you well. I will pray for you with much love. I hope you to know that you are loved unconditionally by us both and will always be here, and welcome. But you will have to find shelter else where. Oh and by the way, you need to make right the wrong that happened here as well as talk to and save you friendships. We are the family that are there.
God Bless!
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