One of the best things I ever did was to reconnect with my best friend. I used to be in a relationship that was very abusive, and I was made to put this man that would of gave me the world out of my mind. He made me believe if I didn't do as he said that he would kill him and showed me how easy it would be.
Then when I escaped, I ended up in another abusive relationship. This was as bad, the only thing was this man never beat on me, well, that's what I thought anyway. My best girlfriend sent me a picture I took of myself and sent to her asking to keep it for me. I had a hell of a goose egg on my forehead. The date was of a time I was with this man. I still have no memory of it, and this is because of the brain injury I obtained with the man before.
I randomly got a hold of my friend, and it wasn't till I started to hang out with him that he sparked memories I didn't even realize that I had lost. He would let me discover things randomly without saying "Do you remember this and that", it was like electric surges through wires in my brain. I was learning who I was before I realized that I had lost so much memory. I was a completely different person, that seemed a lifetime ago.
It wasn't till then the next few weeks later did I get the courage to end my present relationship. It was a battle to the end for sure. It was physical and emotional. My son witnessed most of the fight. I even ended up hitting him in the head like a bat with an iron stool. I was at the point I didn't care of the outcome as long as it was over. Never realized that I was living the same life I did with the man that almost killed me.
Let me back up just a bit about the man that almost killed me, he's also my son's father. Never let him be a part of his life, for one he did try and kill me like maybe 5 times. And he was so deep into drugs and illegal activities that I didn't want to have that a part of his young life let alone put myself and him in harm's way. He can have that chance to know him when he's old enough to protect himself from that life.
Now that the man my son knew as dad had finally left our lives, I finally had the freedom to have the friends back that I had let go so many years ago. My dearest friend, who I wrote a poem for called "Master of Memories" was finally part of my life again. Needlesstosay, I had ended up having a complete mental break. My mind ended up creating different personalities. That man stood by my side and never left me. I couldn't go to work with my present state, and he left a home with no bills to live with me and help me with my bills, my son, as well as my mental state. I am so forever grateful to know such a man. I knew after so much memory I was recovering that I loved him. It wasn't till I was free to be me did I realize I was in love with this man.
Through all this mess, you would think I would have the support of my family, I didn't, worse, they remain in contact with him. What's worse of all the man would assault me on almost a nightly basis. I took medication that left me like in a coma sleep, and he would take advantage of me. There were times I would wake up with him inside me or finishing off his business. I told mom this and because he went to them crying, they told him he didn't have to leave, that he could stay on the couch. I completely lost my shit. I realized I was going to have to do this on my own and it was my friends who I was shown that was my family. Blood isn't always as thick as one would think.
I am blessed, though I've been told at my age not to date or allowed to be in a relationship with this man, I found it was just the way it was supposed to be. We are truly Ying and Yang. We have fun every day, he is my soulmate, and we were supposed to be together. Maybe then was the wrong time. Who knows how we got here? But we did. You know something? It's been him that I realized that home is where the heart is. It's not a place, but where love resides.
So, whoever tells you that getting involved with your best friend is a recipe for destruction of your friendship, apparently has never had one like mine. Who else are you supposed to be with other than someone who's your best friend? I'll never let him go again, nor allow anyone to take it away. I love you Rynan.
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