Trauma affects the way cells in the brain process, interpret and react to information. It not only impacts the physical process of thinking, but thought, which drives behavior. Understanding trauma’s effect on the brain will help you understand, and address, your child’s emotions and behaviors.
Trauma primarily involves three parts of the brain: the amygdala, the hippocampus and the prefrontal cortex. Each of them has a role to play in what your child thinks and feels and influences his or her choices of behaviors. When you understand what part of the child’s brain is driving thoughts and behavior, you will be able to determine how to provide effective and compassionate guidance.
Amygdala
Responsible for using emotions such a fear or pleasure to ensure survival. It’s the “primitive” brain.
How this Part Processes Trauma Sends messages to the hippocampus to prepare for danger.
How this Part Interprets and Reacts to Trauma Chooses one of these responses: flight, fight or freeze.
Hippocampus
Responsible for creating memories from sensory information and attaching them to emotions. It’s the “emotional brain.”
How this Part Processes Trauma Releases stress hormones (cortisol) in the presence of danger.
How this Part Interprets and Reacts to Trauma The process of making and retrieving memories is impeded.
Prefrontal Cortex Responsible for thought; has control over planning, reasoning and organizing. It’s the “thinking brain.”
How this Part Processes Trauma
Attaches strong emotions and behaviors to specific thought patterns.
How this Part Interprets and Reacts to Trauma May create anxiety, phobias, panic disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, etc.
Trauma Triggers
Regress to an earlier developmental stage
Throw tantrums
Become clingy
Masturbate or initiate sex acts with toys or other children
Begin bed wetting
Withdraw
Damage property
Become sexually promiscuous
Run away
Engage in self-injurious acts or delinquent behavior
Triggers may also initiate a flashback, which is the feeling that the event is currently happening. During a flashback, the child’s primitive brain may automatically take control to deal with what is perceived to be reality. When this happens, the child will choose flight, fight or freeze. One good response is to help the child regain a connection with the environment. For example, you might say, “Look at the sky. See the birds? Can you hear them?” Don’t be surprised if it takes a while to reconnect. Keep trying. Do not address behavior and emotions until the child is reconnected.
One good response is to help the child regain a connection with the environment. For example, you might say, “Look at the sky. See the birds? Can you hear them?” Don’t be surprised if it takes a while to reconnect. Keep trying.
HELPING YOUR CHILD RECOVER FROM TRAUMA
If a traumatic event happens once and is not likely to repeat, it is said the child has simple trauma. If the traumatic event happens repeatedly, over a period of time, and/or is likely to happen again, the child is said to have complex trauma. Depending on the severity and duration of the abuse, distressing emotional reactions to triggering events can last weeks to years after the traumatic events have stopped. It depends on how long the abuse went on, how many times it happened, who perpetrated the abuse and who was impacted by it (other than the child).
RESILIENCE
Resilience is the ability to cope with life’s challenges and hardships. Research has shown that up to half of the children who experience sexual trauma are resilient and will not show any long-term problems or symptoms. Although a child’s resilience is due in part to biological and genetic factors, it is also a quality that you can encourage. Resilient children often possess high self-esteem, the ability to recruit help and the belief that their actions can make a difference for the better. Below are ways in which you can foster resilience in your child after a sexual assault.
Encourage your child to develop a personal narrative of the events that includes a positive interpretation. For example, you can emphasize your child’s strength in surviving the betrayal of their trust, of coming forward and disclosing and of working hard to heal. When your child speaks of the abusive event, look for his or her underlying strengths and bring them into the conversation. Over time, your child will develop an abuse narrative that includes their courage and smart handling of a traumatic experience.
Demonstrate your support and love for your child at every possible moment. Studies have shown that a mother’s sensitivity to her abused child’s needs and support of her or his healing are key to increasing the child’s resilience. A supportive and caring father or other caregiver also has a profound effect on resilience and recovery. A sexually abused child builds strength from the love and support of family and community, including extended family members, the child’s friends, supportive teachers or other trustworthy adults.
Create opportunities for positive social support. The support can be from family members, the child's friends, supportive teachers or other trustworthy adults. Opportunities include mealtimes, family outings, activities with friends, holidays and other celebrations, gathering at places of worship and even quiet times spent together.
Encourage your child’s activities, especially in extracurricular activities at school such as sports or clubs. Allow opportunities for artistic expression and involvement with cultural events. Facilitate participation in spiritual and charitable outlets. Studies have also shown that involvement in these activities builds resilience.
Maintain a home environment free from any form of violence and substance abuse. These activities have been shown to reduce a child’s resilience
Encourage your child to talk about the abuse. Children who face a traumatic event and process its effect on them have the best chance of healing. Avoidance as a coping method is the least favorable means of handling an abusive experience.
Studies have found that increasing a sexually abused child’s self-esteem, strengthening the parent-child bond, providing positive school experiences, and participating in school activities such as sports and ensuring access to strong social supports will build resilience to the negative effects of sexual assault such as depression and anger.
SIBLING REACTIONS AND RECOVERY
The sexual assault of one child typically affects the whole family, including siblings. Everything you do to help your children at this time is important. Even your smallest actions can create big opportunities for healing in your children.
Below are some common reactions you can expect from the siblings of a sexually abused child.
Stress is normal in situations such as this. Teach relaxation techniques and be sure everyone is eating healthily and being active.
Siblings may resent the attention the abused child is getting from parents, other caregivers and extended family and friends. You can help to reduce resentment by making sure every child has special time and by including siblings in as many age-appropriate activities as possible.
Older siblings may feel responsible for their sibling’s abuse and respond by trying to protect that child from all potential risks. Help your children understand that they are not responsible for anyone’s safety. It is your job, as the parent, to protect the children in the family.
Common reactions from siblings:
Resentment of the abused child
Emotional distress
Over-protection
Stigmatization
Blame
An abused child can acquire a stigmatized role among siblings or be blamed for the distress the family is experiencing. Redirect negative sibling reactions to the abuse to the only person responsible for the abuse – the abuser. Remind them that their sibling did not want to be abused and needs to be treated with acceptance in order to find the way back to normal.
Your children may be experiencing changes and challenges at this time. You can try to minimize the amount of change they have to face at once and constantly reassure them by providing them with love, understanding and support.